Mirror, Mirror...who's the fairest of them all??

Why it's YOU you silly goose!

By HRH QUEEN AURA AZURA

2008 is sailing by quickly isn't it? And what a winter!

I'm having a fine year and hoping the same for all of you. Our Cotillion passed and was a great success and I'm in the process of putting the next together. Something to think about and plan for is a good thing.

At the Cotillion I paused several times to look around the room to admire all the women and people in the room. So many different faces, so many different personalities, it's amazing. It was like stopping to smell the roses in a way for me. It was wonderful to see so many happy faces, laughing and singing along with the music, dancing, enjoying the spirit of the event. It was one of those warm fuzzy feelings I love to have.

Of course being the realist that I am, I know that behind every one of those happy faces was something sad that people were just so happy to forget about for even a brief moment.

I remember thinking I wonder if they know how beautiful they all are right now? If they could only see what I'm seeing and appreciate my experience. I hope others were doing the same as I.

I tell everyone the same thing -- "DON'T WAIT TO HAVE FUN!" I mean that from the bottom of my heart too. I wasted so much of my life not having fun, that I am truly making up for lost time and I love it.

My problem is I do allow people to stand in my way. But not for long now, not as I used to.

With all the pontificating I've done in the past about lessons and letting go, I am practicing what I preach.

I hated high school. It was nearly the worse time of my life. I dreamt of falling in love, of having a boy friend or boy friends, of having someone love me. I wasted so much precious, valuable time. I regret that.

Then Brad Paisley came out with a new song (read some of the lyrics below) that gave me a new perspective on things. If only I would have heard that song back then, maybe it would have made a difference and I wouldn't have been so bothered by all that crap in high school, and even grammar school for that matter.

His song is "If I could write a letter to me" and he tells himself not to worry about being 17, there's so many good things coming up, just hang on.

At 17 it seems your life is forever and ever and slow to change. But how short was that time for all of us? I blinked and mercifully it was gone. I missed a lot though.

I've made up for it and as Brad's song says:

"If I could write a letter to me
and send it back in time to myself at seventeen
first I’d prove it’s me by sayin’
look under your bed, there’s a Skoal can and a Playboy
no one else would know you hid
and then I’d say I know it’s tough
when you break up after 7 months
and yeah I know you really liked her
and it just don’t seem fair
but all I can say is pain like that is fast and it’s rare

and oh you got so much goin’ for you
goin’ right
but I know at 17
it’s hard to see past Friday night
she wasn’t right for you
and still you feel like there’s
a knife stickin’ out of your back
and you’re wonderin’ if you’ll survive
but you’ll make it through this and you’ll see
you’re still around to write this letter to me ......."

Thanks Brad! You always seem to know what to say.

Then I got to thinking about all that stuff we worry about and wondered if I could possibly put a spin on it that might lend a hand to others.

First thing--NOTHING hurts as much as a broken heart! That's a fact.

We spend so much of our time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching, yearning for that special love. Feeling empty and lost without it. Wanting someone to give us love and fill us up. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. You will draw to you exactly what you create in life, and what you believe you are worthy of. So loving yourself can create love in your life.

Take a realistic evaluation of yourself. Be honest with yourself about how valuable you believe you are as a person. The way you see yourself and treat yourself is the very way others will see you and treat you. Do you see yourself as valuable, worthy of the gift of love? More importantly, do you treat yourself lovingly and as a valuable being? It’s ok to be truthful with yourself, it may not be pretty! Awareness is the first and more powerful step on the path to change!

Forgive yourself if you ever believe you aren't worthy of love. After all, there were probably things in your childhood or previous years that created that belief for you. It simply isn’t true; every being on this planet is worthy of love, after all, love is what we are here for, it’s what it’s all about. Say to yourself now; “I forgive myself for believing that I was not worthy of love.” Go look in a mirror and say it out loud to yourself, look yourself right in the eyes and say it like you mean it. Go on, I’ll wait.
 

Post this affirmation up someplace where you will see it each and every day; “I have the courage to believe that I am worthy of love.” Read it out loud, every day, at least once, ideally at least ten times each time you notice it. Sticky notes are fabulous for affirmations.
 

Take action and make those words real. Begin loving and valuing yourself. It is said that you cannot give away what you do not have. So, if you are not able to love and accept yourself unconditionally, how in the world are you going to love and accept anyone else unconditionally? Much less accept that love in return from them?
 

Remember that love is not a feeling, it is a choice! Make the choice to love yourself. After all, who deserves it more? The more loving you are to yourself, the more loving you will be able to be to everyone around you. Family and friends will especially benefit from this. Make a choice to come from a place of love for yourself and for everyone who is important in your life.
 

Think about what you need to fill that emptiness inside, that place that is longing for love. What specifically do you need? Find the answer and then give it to yourself. No one is more capable of loving you, and giving you exactly what you need than you are! When you learn how to fulfill yourself in that way, you stop searching for it outside of yourself and you suddenly begin attracting it to you! You change yourself from a sponge to a magnet! People see you radiating self love and they are drawn to you!
 

Keep a journal. Write about your experiences, good and bad. When you write down your good experiences allow yourself to feel those good feelings again. When you remember the bad experiences, allow yourself to feel pride. Pride because you faced a challenge in your life and you are here today to write about it, which must mean you are a survivor and a fighter. Tell yourself, "I know pain, but I've yet to be introduced to surrender." Keep on keeping on
 

Here's something to try saying every day. Place it on your mirror. It always helps: "Look in the mirror and what do I see? A beautiful girl staring back at me Oh wow! I thought, who could that be?, [smile and say] Oh! It's most definitely me!"

Warning Don't become too narcissistic or people won't like you.

And in the words of a great man: "All you need is love!" John Lennon

Do you have something to rant about? Please send them to me; I’d love to share them on the website.  redhattersmatter@hotmail.com